coffee count:

coffee: 4 cups
tea: 1 cup (small)
diet coke: 1 can


oh brother.

practice makes perfect ?

Funny how practicing on a mannequin is COMPLETELY different from the real thing. I drew blood from a "patient" for the first time this week (except my "patient" was a fellow student who also wanted to practice). I missed the artery the first time, got it down by the third.

It looks so easy. Sit. Point. Insert needle. Draw back.

But the thought that this is the first time....what if it hurts her? What if it hurts me when it's my turn? What if I insert too far, or do something stupid like forget to undo the tourniquet before pulling out the needle? (yeah...very nearly did)

And that was just an easy little thing! What happens when it comes to giving that first intramuscular injection (don't hit that sciatic!), or making the cut the first time in surgery? Scary.

Maybe practicing medicine is like practicing music. You never have a 100% chance of hitting the right note, but the more you practice the more likely you are to hit the note you want. And the more you practice the more refined and beautiful the music sounds.

One thing's for sure -- you never forget the first time.

how i feel about the brain:

It's all "Greek" to me....(Greek, Chinese, whatever....)





(thanks to wikimedia commons, http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Brain_diagram_ja.svg)

on motivation

It's interesting what motivates us. For me, I always seem to be the most motivated when I'm in "prove them wrong" mode. When someone tells me I can't do something I kick into gear and decide I better "prove them wrong."

This has proved handy in the past. Six months ago when a friend told me I lacked "motivation and drive" in life I decided it was time to show who was motivated and who was un-motivated. I did just that, got my butt in gear and did my absolute best.

The trouble is, this type of motivation has its limits. You can't forever go on steam that comes from proving people wrong! Not only is it exhausting in and of itself, it can also eventually turn into bitterness.

Currently I'm at the transition point -- I no longer need to prove myself to that friend, but I do need new motivation. You'd think that medical students would be motivated for the sake of the medicine....I wonder if that really is true? Am I the only one who needs outside motivation? Maybe that is the sign of a good doctor -- being passionate about the science of medicine itself. Or maybe that's just the sign of a geek? Can you be a doctor and not be motivated about the medicine itself?

The point is, when you're feeling unmotivated, how do you bring yourself to become motivated?

Just full of questions today I guess...

What do you call a doctor who is last in his class in medschool?

Someone once asked, "what do you a call a doctor who was last in his class in medschool?" The answer of course is, "still a doctor."

No one wants to be THAT doctor, the one who just barely passes. But sometimes when you've worked really hard and are right on the edge of passing, you'd rather pass and get it over with than fail and have to re-take a class.

0.05% is the difference for me. My last final I failed by that much. there's a chance my professor will take pity on me and round up, but you never know for sure. The question I'm stuck with is, do I WANT him to round up? Failing by that much still means I failed. Could that make the difference between someone's life or death someday? If so I'd rather fail and re-take the class. And yet, does someone who got 0.05% more than me really know that much more than me? Do they deserve to pass?

I guess in the end it's kind of arbitrary.